Unfortunately babies don’t come with a user manual, however, there are thousands of books on the subject of child care and parenting in the stores. Now more than ever new parents seem to need to resort to books when it comes to the subject of how best to look after their new baby.

And it’s ironic that what was considered “best practice” from one author some years ago is now completely contradicted by today’s Best Seller or Number 1 Guru. In the first part of the twentieth century, for example, a structured routine was considered essential to prepare a baby and child for the disciplines and realities of adult life. One early introduction to discipline was for parents to avoid any instinct to pick up their baby as soon as he cried because then he would learn that he could expect attention on demand.

Then some new thinking emerged, notably from Dr Spock. His views were controversial at the time but they became one of the leading works of child care reference. He discredited the regime that demanded discipline and structure because, he argued, every child was unique and demanded a unique parenting stance. So, for example, giving your baby instant attention including lots of kisses and cuddles was now a good thing. And since then, many more “experts” have emerged with more and different opinions on exactly what the right approach is.

My first-hand experience at parenting began more than thirty years ago and at that time, despite Dr Spock and others, moms relied more on family and friends and particularly their own instincts to figure out how to deal with their new bundle of joy. Learning about child care from books was a rarity but doctors and midwives were available to provide help where required.

So with that in mind, and despite the fact that I don’t regard myself as a child-raising expert, here are the basics that served me well:

* Whether breast feeding or bottle feeding I found it a great time to talk to them – not only does it help create a bond it is a time of closeness and lots of cuddles.

* Sleep for baby was easier and more peaceful in the open air of our back yard, secure in a baby carriage. Clearly this approach won’t work for families without a secure back yard and it’s not something for working moms. And I don’t think that it will work anything like as successfully with today’s strollers!

* Notwithstanding Dr Spock, the application of a routine was key, even if it had to have at least a little allowance for flexibility. Almost from the start we adopted a process of bathing then feeding then bedtime and after the first few months we added story time to the bedtime. This all calmed them down and allowed them to get ready for sleep even as they grew older.

* Promoting speech and language development through conversations. I would talk to them at every chance and about everything that came to mind, whether we were going out to the supermarket, driving around, getting dressed or simply cleaning the house.

* Organizing my day so that in the afternoon I had time to devote to my children by focusing on housework in the morning.

* My husband and I always presented a unified stance in front of the children when it came to discipline (even if we disagreed after the event in private) – kids are great at playing one parent off against another from a very young age.

* Adopting a consistent set of rules and discipline. Our children responded to knowing what was expected of them and they (mostly) accepted decisions when they were given reasons, even if they didn’t agree with them.

What I’ve listed above isn’t a comprehensive blueprint and it isn’t to be used as an unchanging formula, because (to emphasize the point I made at the start) it won’t apply to everyone. Different parents will have different preferences – and above all else, different babies will respond differently. But you may find the tips give you some ideas in your own child raising tasks.